Some schools of thought teach that people can achieve greater inner-peace by forgiving or excusing rude or improper behavior because the other person “must be having a bad day” or some such reason. Shenaniganism recognizes that while giving another person the benefit of the doubt is appropriate in some instances, in others it is undeserved and therefore won’t automatically make one feel better.

 

When a pre-schooler throws a tantrum because he wants to watch TV instead of taking a bath, we understand that he might be hungry or tired or broke his favorite crayon in a coloring mishap. Developmentally he is incapable of calmly and rationally expressing his feelings and frustrations. He behaves childishly because he is a child, and we can forgive the behavior because to a great extent he’s doing the best he can.

 

When the woman driving behind you on the freeway becomes frustrated because you’re only going ten MPH over the posted speed limit and whips around you, narrowly missing your front bumper as she cuts you off just before giving you the finger, we understand that she is capable of putting on her blinker, calmly changing lanes and safely pulling around you. She is behaving childishly because she is immature, impatient and self-centered, and it is hard to forgive the behavior because we know she can do better.

 

A practicing Shenaniganist would avoid nursing a grudge against her because you can’t un-flip the bird – the moment has passed. But because an important component of Shenaniganism is an awareness of how one’s actions affect others, when an opportunity presents itself a follower might take advantage of it to be a good example of Shenaniganism by demonstrating that the action wasn’t appreciated or necessary. When doing so, a Shenaniganist would approach the situation in a friendly, good-natured manner, never being preachy, accusatory or condescending. In fact, he probably wouldn’t even mention his beliefs, as the goal is to lighten the mood and make everyone involved feel better and not to convert the stranger to Shenaniganism.

 

For instance, perhaps as he’s walking into his local coffee dispensary he holds the door open for an elderly woman and a business man pushes past them both and hurries to the counter. The Shenaniganist might smile and say something like, “Wow! That’s really nice of you to hold a place in line for this sweet lady.” If said with sincerity rather than sarcasm, the Shenaniganist is able to gently point out that the man “took cuts” without embarrassing him and perhaps putting him on the defensive.

 

Of course, every situation is different and sometimes it’s just not appropriate, safe or possible to do something like this. One should always assess what’s happening and who’s involved before deciding whether it’s best to try and make a difference or just let it go.

 

Although Shenaniganism does not encourage its followers to automatically give everyone a free pass for bad behavior just because they burned their toast that morning, neither does it allow them to put anyone who does something they don’t like in the “Jerk” column. Because there is a natural tendency to judge others more harshly for doing things that we may also do, Shenaniganism calls for consideration and self-examination before condemning others.

 

Supermarket express lane etiquette is a good example. When standing with a gallon of milk in the fifteen items or less lane behind a shopper who clearly has at least twenty items, we might fuss and fume about his total disregard for the rules. Perhaps we glare at the cashier for allowing this obvious transgression, sigh loudly to convey our disgust or turn to the person behind us, shaking our heads in solidarity at the unfairness of it all.

 

But that same express lane looks awfully inviting when we and our eighteen items are in a hurry. After all, there’s just one person ahead of us, it’s not like there’s anyone waiting behind us. And it’s just eighteen items, that’s barely more than fifteen … how much more time can it really take to ring up three more measly items? Besides, you’ve got five cans of creamed corn, and they just count as one item since they’re all the same canned good, so technically you’ve really only got thirteen items. Right???

 

Labeling the person in front of us as an inconsiderate jerk who’s blatantly flaunting the clearly stated express lane laws while excusing our own abuse of the same rules is both hypocritical and unfair. A Shenaniganist comes to understand that if she has valid reasons for occasionally doing things that may not be considered entirely polite or in accordance with the code of social conduct (valid reason should not be misinterpreted as convenient excuse … it’s a valid reason to cut through a gas station rather than waiting to make a right turn when your wife is in labor and you need to get to the hospital, running late for a Barry Manilow concert is a convenient excuse for illegally driving in the carpool lane), others may have equally good reasons for doing similar things.

 

She also accepts that just as she once negatively labeled people for doing things she allowed herself to get away with, people are undoubtedly judging her in less than pleasant ways when she does these things. And again, because Shenaniganism teaches that one should strive not to let her actions negatively affect others, it’s important that she keep these transgressions to a minimum; and, if possible, to explain and apologize when committing them is necessary.