Shenaniganists practice being in the now as much as possible and to the best of their ability. Living in the present liberates them from the burden of agonizing over a past they can’t change and a future they can’t control. This does not mean that they forget yesterday as if it never happened and never think about tomorrow because it’s all a big crap shoot anyway.

 

Shenaniganists are realistic, they are not delusional. They focus on the positive aspects of looking at and dealing with the past and constructive ways to plan and prepare for the future, so that the combination of experience and possibility will aid, rather than detract from, their ability to live happily and comfortably in the present.

 

Shenaniganism teaches that the past holds fond memories and that looking back upon them can elicit feelings of warmth and happiness. Even unhappy events that occurred before now can be useful if we look at them openly and honestly and are willing to learn from them. But if we look back and declare earlier times better, easier or happier than the present, it becomes dangerous and destructive because it creates feelings of dissatisfaction with the now.

 

Likewise, obsessing over incidents where we felt bad or sad, thinking about what we did wrong or how we were wronged, turning it over and over in our minds, does nothing but churn up toxic feelings and negativity. Since we can’t go back and relive our glory days nor hop in a time machine for an unhappy-event do-over, Shenaniganists consciously avoid letting their minds wander to those places; because to do so is not only a waste of time, it’s also emotionally unhealthy and terribly disruptive to the Shen.

Just as unhealthy and disruptive as hanging onto things they can do absolutely nothing about, is refusing to rectify or recognize past situations or events that need to be dealt with. A woman may have felt that she was terribly wronged when her college roommate, who she considered to be her best friend, asked someone else to be the maid of honor at her wedding. But now, years later, she still feels guilty for “accidentally” spilling a glass of red wine down the front of the poor girl’s dress at the reception. It wasn’t her fault she was chosen as the maid of honor and she didn’t deserve to be embarrassed.

 

Again, lacking a time machine, she can’t go back and un-spill the wine; but if she has some way of finding or contacting the spill-ee, she may have the opportunity to explain and apologize. If that isn’t an option, perhaps she can tell someone else about it … not an “oh, I did the cattiest thing” story, but a “what and why and how it made me feel” account to help her let go of the toxicity and forgive herself.

 

While the practice of being in the now leaves little time for a Shenaniganist to worry about a future he can’t control, he may have hopes, dreams or plans that he enjoys considering from time to time. For instance, perhaps he has a trip to Hawaii coming up in the next couple of weeks. During a particularly grueling day at the office, letting his mind drift for a few moments to thoughts of being on the beach, feeling the sand under his feet and the ocean breeze on his skin may put a smile on his face and make getting through until quitting time just a little easier. Or a young woman who’s just discovered that she’s pregnant may see a mother cuddling her baby and think happily about what it might be like when she gets to hold her own child in her arms.

 

A Shenaniganist may look ahead with excitement and anticipation, or at times even with dread, but knows he is seeing only possibilities because the future holds no guarantees. No matter how high the hopes nor good the odds, he avoids having expectations and the “all or nothing” thinking that often goes along with them. The idea that he has to get into that college or date that girl or land that job and nothing else will do leaves no room for the possibility that those things may not happen.

 

Shenaniganism encourages us to dream big and work hard toward our goals, but to always bear in mind that even when we really, really want things very badly, we don’t always get them and must have other options and be prepared for disappointment.

 

Similarly, Shenaniganism discourages “never and nothing” thinking. Someone who thinks she’ll never be accepted into that school nor marry that boy nor get that promotion is setting herself up for failure because she won’t put the necessary effort into reaching a goal she’s decided is unattainable. And because there are no guarantees, she likely won’t get everything she wants no matter how hard she tries.

 

However, no amount of effort is ever wasted because it opens up and prepares her for other possibilities. A 4.0 GPA could mean a scholarship to a different university, her winning personality and sparkling smile might catch the attention of another wonderful boy and perhaps her work ethic and late nights at the office won’t go unnoticed by the manager of a different department who’s looking to hire a go-getter like her.